Weird fleshlights - Apr 12, 2023 · 45 Weirdest Sex Toys 2.6K Views 49 Shares By Kay Braeburn Updated Apr 12, 2023 at 10:54am Get ready for the weirdest sex toys you can find. I’m not here to kink-shame anyone–just think of this...

 
Weird fleshlights

I know they look like some kind of weird fleshlight, but could be an idea for those like me who are money poor and don't want to kill themselves by making a diy version. Reply hempsaves111 •Penis toys - Fleshlights, “Pocket pussies”, Penis strokers, Penis vibrators, Automatic masturbation machines, Sex dolls 2. Prostate toys - Prostate massagers, Prostate vibrators, Anal dildosI had one while I was deployed. They are fun for awhile, I got pretty bored with mine after a few months. I just switched back and forth between palmala Anderson and my pocket puss. Just keep trying with the lady folk. I'm sure there is one out there!After sex with a robot, there's no going back.Check out more awesome videos at BuzzFeedVideo!http://bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedvideoIn case you're interested, check ou...Hey, not every college sports team can have a name that strikes fear into the hearts of their opponents. From Brown University’s bear to the Yale bulldogs, there are plenty of logical, pretty standard selections out there. But some colleges...When you spend your days digging holes and breaking down walls, you’re bound to stumble across some interesting things. Needless to say, there have been some very wonderful — and very strange — items found at construction sites.Best Male Sex Toys in 2022. 1. Fleshlight Flight Pilot - Best Overall Male Sex Toy. This portable sex toy by Fleshlight is their idea of an unforgettable flight to your orgasmic destination. Light ...Smart Security. for Every Home. Online shopping from a great selection at Fleshlight Canada Store. Apr 27, 2021 · A Fleshlight Modelled On Shrek’s Ear Exists If You Wish To Really Fuck With Your Childhood. By. Courtney Fry. Published. April 27, 2021. Stop what you’re doing right now, because there’s ... RT @ALTARFUCK: how many times are you guys gonna make that same goddamn post about short people being fleshlights? it wasn’t funny the first time. it’s not funny now. it’s just weird as hell 😭. 14 Oct 2022 05:30:20Yes but there are a lot of double standards between men and women and reading around other forums on the internet, this seems like it is one of those double standards. It is fine for straight women and gay men to have sex toys but it is classed as weird if straight men do. no, I dont think I would find it too odd. Then the Shriekers evolve into Assblasters that fly off and lay an egg that hatches into a grabboid. 11. [deleted] • 5 mo. ago. Forbidden Fleshlight. 19. chadhindsley • 5 mo. ago. Now you need to 3D print a figurine of Bert and his giant elephant gun. 8. cutelyaware • 5 mo. ago.But there's something to be said for laughter during sex play, and these can offer a bit of both — even though some of them are really weird Fleshlights. Foot Fleshlight One of Malek Lazri's inventions , the foot Fleshlight is catered to those with a foot fetish — complete with a French pedicure and a "glass slipper" heel.My puppy got aspiration pneumonia the day we got her because she also had kennel cough. Within an hour of bringing her home, she was at the emergency vet getting oxygen treatment.High-quality Fleshlight throw blankets designed and sold by independent artists. Available in three sizes. Perfect for your couch, chair, or bed. It's all nappening.Members. 9.7k. Location: Florida. First Name: Brian. Last Name: Vaughn. Posted June 19, 2020. Are guys are funny spending crazy cash on handles and knobs...all the reels I buy come with handles and knobs and not once did I ever say I lost a big fish because of the knobs on my reel. browniez, SkagitBasser, CaliBassin and 20 others.Nov 17, 2012 · Published November 17, 2012. Comments ( 143) In Japanese, they're called "dakimakura" (抱き枕). In English, they're "hug pillows". In short, hugging them while you sleep can either given a ... 1.3K votes, 36 comments. 811K subscribers in the NoahGetTheBoat community. We support the protests due to Reddit Incorporated's poor management and…Pixar themed 'limited edition' Fleshlights - @MLAZRI on IG. We've turned some kind of corner, culturally. I'm not judging anyone who goes for this stuff. Most of us rub one out one way or another, so it's really no biggie. But for sure this is something my older friends and family would probably pity and also mock mercilessly. Weird fleshlight Reply brjukva • ... Mechanical fleshlight. Adjustable grip strength. Reply CantFireMeIquit ...1. Downstackguy • 3 mo. ago. This looks more like a thinking face. So that was just a thinking face the original one was. Maybe the original one he was thinking so hard it looked full depressed. Here it's just a little depressed but you can also see a little thinking he's doing. CrookedRecoil • 3 mo. ago.lol, my kid got a mini archaeology kit where you excavate sharks' teeth with a brush, for Christmas last year, and on the back of the box it saysThat's a weird fleshlight Reply AllAsianGIFsAreFake ... Reply [deleted] • Additional comment actions. Nice fleshlight Reply HolySheeb ...Bit of a weird one, but when I was about 9, I remember being at a fair where they were giving out free samples of pies, a French guy came up to me and asked in broken English "why you take if you no give money", I replied by saying "they're free" and then walking off. For some reason, I always regretted not giving a better explanation- this guy ...Squishy Buds. Our creations are crafted from body safe platinum-cure silicone and are allergy-friendly, phthalate free, easy to clean and maintain and dragon-grade durable! So you can explore your fantasies with care-free indulgence and perfect peace of mind! Artisans of Platinum Grade fantasy themed adult toys - handcrafted in the United States!What is an onahole? In the simplest of terms, an onahole is a Japanese sex toy for men. To put it academically, the word onahole comes from two words combined: “onanni”, meaning masturbation in Japanese, and “horu”, meaning hole. So in short, a masturbation hole! It usually comes in a cup shape and has one or more openings that can be ...Its too loose, when you try to move it, it doesn't pull at all. 6. macabremiles • 3 yr. ago. interesting! i wouldve assumed the opposite, that it would be tight. 2. yolodude343 • 3 yr. ago. Well, its hard to get in, but it just rolls inside itself and falls off. 5. macabremiles • 3 yr. ago.I found out about the sock masturbator on the internet, where it said prison inmates commonly used it. Hence, I immediately got interested in trying it out b...I don't know why he's acting like he wasn't the weird kid. You may go outside but you still dressed up in Tingle costumes and did unboxing videos of fleshlights, you aren't normal lil bro. 13 Mar 2023 23:59:59Jun 27, 2016 · Rather than splurging on sex toys, try these DIY pleasure tools: household objects that vibrate, feel like a tongue, and so much more. Moriah Mills. @moriahxxxo. ·. Sep 14, 2022. Ask for my cashtag and zelle ️ , my whislist too 👗🥳 .. Let the gift keep rushing in .. Love you all You can contact me on hangouts on here , all booking can be made there [email protected]. The following media includes potentially sensitive content. Change settings.register a sa forums account here! joining the sa forums will remove this big ad, the annoying underlined ads, and stupid interstitial ads!!!The stigma difference between Dildos and Fleshlights is weird. My wife and I were talking about this the other day. There is a large stigma with the way people view Women's marital aids vs Men's marital aids. The use of dildos has become much less stigmatized in everyday life. It's used as casual jokes, found regularly on shelves in stores, and ...My puppy got aspiration pneumonia the day we got her because she also had kennel cough. Within an hour of bringing her home, she was at the emergency vet getting oxygen treatment.Have you ever wondered what your dreams taste like? Well, the Coca-Cola Company sure has — and the inventive folks over there have even bottled the flavor. If you’ve ever wished you could drink your bacon — and with a healthy dose of carbon...1) Infections. The most common cause of adverse penis sensation is a sexually transmitted disease or other infection. The inflammation caused by many of these infections can lead to a tingling sensation. In addition, many infections irritate the nerve endings, which means tingling can be accompanied by pain, itching, a red penis and other ...Us humans have been obsessed with dildos, dongs, fleshlights, and vibrators for too long. ... Sports matches are better when they're delightfully weird like this. 10/01/2023All Fleshlights have a removable sleeve inside, which makes cleaning it easy. Take out the sleeve then run some warm water right through it. You don’t need to use soap (as long as you’re ...1-48 of 324 results for "unusual flashlights" Results Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. LitezAll Transforming Robot LED Flashlight | Unique Mini …Artist Malek Lazri makes animated movie-themed sex toys, and one of his latest fleshlights is a penetrable sex ear. You do you, you freaks. Shrek turns 20 today, and in honor of the big ...Mini Instant Pot. Cook dinner fast, even in a small room. This gift will help to feed your graduate for many years to come. They can use the slow cooker to make rice, yogurt, and casseroles. Soon-to-be college students need to be sure these are allowed in on-campus housing or dorms.The casing is a real Fleshlight case, painted to look like the cartoon caterpillar. One might imagine that someone in Lazari’s unique position might be concerned about legal ramifications from Pixar—or even a …👗 Quality light with free worldwide shipping. This light can easily match with your favorite tshirt and jeans. Find products of Fabric with high quality at AliExpress. Enjoy Free Shipping Worldwide! Limited Time Sale Easy Return.Anonymous #1. If you found out your boyfriend had a fleshlight or masturbator, how would you react, so long as it didnt affect your sex life ? The reason im asking is because ive seen girls act really badly to this, which is weird as the guy is just pleasing himself. I mean both genders have desires and urges, therefore its just relieving them.Want to buy one. High quality but not too expensive; and the packaging has to be discreet, I don't want my dad seeing the packaging for a fleshlight that I bought. Preferably transparent so I can see my dick. I am in the AU Does anybody have any ideas for shipping, just in case? Preferably not to my house. But the packaging has to be discreet.So, the kind people at dozens of different companies have decided to make this time-wasting possibility a reality with some absolutely off-the-wall sex toys. From the Harry Potter vibrating broom, to the Avatar Fleshlight, to the Lady Gaga blow-up doll, to the most disgusting d***o you will see in your entire life (zombie), here are the 13 most ...Since creating the Bug's Life-themed Fleshlight last year, artist Malek Lazri has continued his work with horrible items based on Shrek, The Incredibles, Cars, Ratatouille, and more.2.6K subscribers in the homemadefleshlight community. Welcome to /r/homemadefleshlight. Share your methods on how to make homemade fleshlights. The… register a sa forums account here! joining the sa forums will remove this big ad, the annoying underlined ads, and stupid interstitial ads!!!5. Men's toys are great for sexual health - and physical health. Masturbation is good for you. That's a stone cold fact: a recent Harvard University study correlated ejaculating 21 times a month ...Then the Shriekers evolve into Assblasters that fly off and lay an egg that hatches into a grabboid. 11. [deleted] • 5 mo. ago. Forbidden Fleshlight. 19. chadhindsley • 5 mo. ago. Now you need to 3D print a figurine of Bert and his giant elephant gun. 8. cutelyaware • 5 mo. ago.51 per cent of the men own a sex toy with cock rings being the most popular toy (30 per cent) followed in popularity by Fleshlight, prostate massagers, penis pumps and stamina rings. 78 per cent ...Sometimes, the weird things your mom’s been saying for your entire life turn out to be true. For instance, putting a slice of bread in your mouth while slicing onions really can stop you from crying. It’s weird, but it works.Strokers: Strokers (a.k.a. masturbation sleeves) fit around or over the penis and mimic the feeling of a vagina or anus (and sometimes even resemble body parts). Some strokers are open on one end,...We designed this Fleshlight Freak with a body-safe, airbrushed green Alien orifice that continues down to a clear sleeve so you can see all of the alien infestation action. Combined with a clear, transparent case, you'll have everything you need to fulfill your wildest sci-fi sexcapade.Here are my picks for the best Fleshlights, in order:Fleshlight Girls “Stoya Destroya” - https://fleshlight.sjv.io/ZG5bkFleshlight Pink Butt Original (Anal F...Strokers: Strokers (a.k.a. masturbation sleeves) fit around or over the penis and mimic the feeling of a vagina or anus (and sometimes even resemble body parts). Some strokers are open on one end,...Malek Lazri, better known as the guy who made a Bug's Life themed Fleshlight, has sharpened his skills on new toys. While the rest of the world moved on, the mastermind behind last year's Bug's ...The receptionist stepped into the elevator and left the penthouse. Basara finished the water and set the glass into the sink. He looked at the paper along with the black ticket for the five star restaurant. He smiled at the fact he could bring Chisato to the restaurant. Although he had a weird pang of fear inside his heart.2.6K subscribers in the homemadefleshlight community. Welcome to /r/homemadefleshlight. Share your methods on how to make homemade fleshlights. The…register a sa forums account here! joining the sa forums will remove this big ad, the annoying underlined ads, and stupid interstitial ads!!!Weird. This "Bug's Life" Heimlich Fleshlight Is The Stuff Of Nightmares. by Stacey. Normally, a Fleshlight—the popular brand of silicone sex toy shaped like a flashlight—will set you back around $80.Brian is 37, friendly without being creepy, and smart without being annoying. Like Ford, Wal-Mart, and Comcast, Fleshlight is a family business. Back in the mid-90s, when they were still living in Los Angeles, Brian’s dad Steve Shubin and his stepmom Kathy found out they were pregnant with twins.What are the new norms around asking friends how much they make? Experts weigh in on what the etiquette is. By clicking "TRY IT", I agree to receive newsletters and promotions from Money and its partners. I agree to Money's Terms of Use and...Fleshlight as a brand got its patent 23 years ago, and initially was listed as a 'device for discrete sperm collection'. Since then, the branding has got a whole lot less clinical, and a string of ...Stick to natural yoghurt. MARGARINE. Not to be confused with butter (milk products on warm surfaces - i.e. your bits - will not be pretty) but margarine is totally safe to use. Primer. No joke, oil-based natural primers will do the trick. But let's be real, it's expensive - you may as well buy actual lube. Vaseline.11. Raspberries. The strawberry's smooshier, more pliable cousin, the raspberry is a bit less popular, but ideal for more delicate sexytimes — you know, foreplay that is more about a nibble than ...A Psychologist once had a patient who masturbated with a raw chicken. He had a crippling addiction where he would masturbate with a raw chicken. This was really harming his social life and he became a recluse. His psychologist suggested he went cold turkey.1. Choose a smaller vibrator. When traveling, it's always advisable to pack light, and the same goes for your sex toys. You won't want to be lugging around a big vibrator in your suitcase and you ...16. decadrachma ♀ • 6 yr. ago. It a pun on the word flashlight, since they sort of look like flashlights. But yeah, I agree "flesh" does make it super creepy. I agree with you on the realism being a little weird as well, but I also wouldn't judge someone who didn't think that. Just personal taste. 7.After sex with a robot, there's no going back.Check out more awesome videos at BuzzFeedVideo!http://bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedvideoIn case you're interested, check ou...So if you're new to The World of Vibrators and Dildos and feel uneasy investing in a silicone toy, save money by trying a plastic toy with a condom first. "If you decide it really isn't for you ...Mini Instant Pot. Cook dinner fast, even in a small room. This gift will help to feed your graduate for many years to come. They can use the slow cooker to make rice, yogurt, and casseroles. Soon-to-be college students need to be sure these are allowed in on-campus housing or dorms.A soft, almost sex-like sensation enveloped my penis that was completely different from any other masturbation I had ever done. You will feel the same sensation that I felt. Move the Fleshlight at any pace you like and enjoy the best masturbation you can get. 4. Open and close the cap to adjust the stimulation.What is an onahole? In the simplest of terms, an onahole is a Japanese sex toy for men. To put it academically, the word onahole comes from two words combined: “onanni”, meaning masturbation in Japanese, and “horu”, meaning hole. So in short, a masturbation hole! It usually comes in a cup shape and has one or more openings that can be ... Repeat this cycle three times before you allow yourself to finally ejaculate. To help cure premature ejaculation, you should be masturbating every day if not twice per day. It helps to desensitize ...Just a friendly reminder to users, old and new, to please read the rules of the sub. However the posts with people using these futuristic Jetsons …Just a friendly reminder to users, old and new, to please read the rules of the sub. However the posts with people using these futuristic Jetsons …States are all over the map when it comes to their tax laws. That’s why some have astronomical -- and climbing -- gasoline taxes and others have kept their... Get top content in our free newsletter. Thousands benefit from our email every we...Response to Does a fleshlight feel like a vag? Jan 11, 2012. it's going to be hard for a device to replicate the slimy feeling of a vagina. not to mention the way a vagina contracts around your cock. i've tried a tenga (not the same as fleshlight, but close enough) and it really didn't feel close to a vagina at all.This tweet and the replies from men is just more evidence that they really just hate us and use women as fleshlights. 16 Jan 2023 12:47:15Austin-based artist Malek Lazri is selling a Fleshlight case with a silicone molded Heimlich from the 1998 Pixar movie A Bug's Life on Craigslist and eBay. Both posting prices are set at $2,000 ...What is an onahole? In the simplest of terms, an onahole is a Japanese sex toy for men. To put it academically, the word onahole comes from two words combined: “onanni”, meaning masturbation in Japanese, and “horu”, meaning hole. So in short, a masturbation hole! It usually comes in a cup shape and has one or more openings that can be ... It was good. Real good. I threw it out knowing it could take up most of my waking hours. I've had one. It wasn't too bad, but still not the real thing. It was the most fun when using it with a partner. Better than a hand, not as good as sex. Whether it's worth the money is subjective. I’m not a dude. The first thing in most fans' minds was that it was a weird-looking Star Wars fleshlight. One joked about how this toy taught children how to French kiss , which prompted a Tucker Carlson joke ...Define "weird", LOL. Lots of people swallow their own semen, and I would personally define it as "weird" because it just isn't my thing, like at all, but know that you're not alone either way. If you just look around on this forum alone, you will find tons and tons of posts from people who do the same thing.6 Sex Toy Companies Disguised As Household Products. By: Amanda Mannen. March 22, 2015. As teenagers, we all went through that phase where everything in your house looks like a vagina or a penis, depending on your preference -- it's the one thing American Pie got right about the human condition. Most grow out of that phase eventually, while ...5K votes, 153 comments. 1.2M subscribers in the lego community. Reports, news, pics, videos, discussions and documentation from a studded world…다만 fleshlight 자체가 오래쓰다보면 외부 코팅 재질이 벗겨져서 외부 촉감이 약간 달라지고 [4], 헐거워지는 경우는 Fleshlight의 부분 부분이 약간씩 찢어져서 생기는 경우가 대부분이다. 다만 찢어지는건 조심스럽게 쓰거나, 약간은 찢어지더라도 그냥 참고 쓰던지 ...Check out our fleshlights weird selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our sex toys shops.

A woman is probably much better. It's easier to use your hands than buy a fleshlight. No sir, I'd have to disagree with you there. There is no greater sin than pee pee mc friction pleasure. And I sir disagree that your method of emulation is inferior. I only do orgasm yoga to fend off my desires.. Holly hendrix likes it hardcore

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Explore the world's #1 largest database of ideas and innovations, with 447,766 inspiring examples.Yeah I feel like if you told a friend you had a fleshlight equivalent in like 1980 people would have considered you mentally ill. Now you just drop it on the dining table like it's nothing. robdingo36 • 2 min. ago. Pocket pussies have been a thing for as long as I've known sex toys existed, and I'm in my 40s.The Fleshlight recently came up in a conversation among myself and five of my friends, all male. I am currently in a relationship, as are two of the friends in question. We all agreed after about thirty seconds that a Fleshlight would not be a weird thing to own at all (although no one admitted to owning one, and I'm pretty sure everyone was ...Just a friendly reminder to users, old and new, to please read the rules of the sub. However the posts with people using these futuristic Jetsons …Posts: 1,339. My little brother is using my fleshlights 10. #15339959 - 11/08/11 09:30 AM (11 years, 10 months ago) After I got my first fleshlight at 15 I was hooked. Over the years my collection slowly built to what it is today: super tight, wonderwave, super ribbed,speedbump, vortex, and ultra tight.Fleshlights are made in one of four giant bays. Each bay consists of an outer perimeter of individual molds surrounding a center console. The person pouring your Fleshlight first sets up the molds, attaching the appropriate external (mouth, vulva, or butt) and internal texture forms to each. Meanwhile, a vat of Fleshlight material is busy being ...TheTypicalNewGuy • 3 yr. ago. Thomas as Jack in the box from Krampus. •. If I met a genie and was granted three wishes they would be as follows: that image be erased from the internet, the memory of this cursed arrangement of pixels be erased from my mind, and finally OP be sent to the deepest level of hell to rot in perpetuity for their ...Sick Mom uses choking device to silence child so she can talk on the phone! This is so god damn good. Hahaha it is! We need a sub that is a cross between r/WhereDidTheSodaGo and r/ReverseAnimalRescue. "Goddamn it Luke, that's the 35th time this week. I'll get the damn suction device.".There's no right or wrong here. Go slow. Twist and turn. Introduce the head of the penis to different depths, different areas of texture. You're using a Fleshlight because it's superior to a right ...Cheap Party DIY Decorations, Buy Quality Home & Garden Directly from China Suppliers:New Hot Sale Bachelorette Spider Headband Night Out Hen Party Fancy Dress Accessory Wedding Party Favor Home Decoration Gift Enjoy Free Shipping Worldwide! Limited Time Sale Easy Return.We designed this Fleshlight Freak with a body-safe, airbrushed green Alien orifice that continues down to a clear sleeve so you can see all of the alien infestation action. Combined with a clear, transparent case, you'll have everything you need to fulfill your wildest sci-fi sexcapade.1. Downstackguy • 3 mo. ago. This looks more like a thinking face. So that was just a thinking face the original one was. Maybe the original one he was thinking so hard it looked full depressed. Here it's just a little depressed but you can also see a little thinking he's doing. CrookedRecoil • 3 mo. ago.Best cock ring for couples. Lelo Tor 2. Expensive it may be, but the Tor 2 is worth every penny. Its strong, varied vibrations are smooth almost to the point of being classy, and its silicone ...I used it 3 months ago for a week, then got tired of it. But it actually feels very realistic if you have a good imagination. But i have to admit I feel more like a loser since I bought it. It depends on how much prep you want to do and how much clean up you want. If you don't want to clean up after, don't do it.14 Best Fleshlight Sleeves & Textures (Updated - Doctor Climax That means that you won't be able to make use of the suction caps typical of Fleshlight toys. An easy fix of course is to tighten up your grip. Fleshlights vary in price but the typical price for a Fleshlight is between $35-$70 USD.Us humans have been obsessed with dildos, dongs, fleshlights, and vibrators for too long. ... Sports matches are better when they're delightfully weird like this. 10/01/2023After sex with a robot, there's no going back.Check out more awesome videos at BuzzFeedVideo!http://bit.ly/YTbuzzfeedvideoIn case you're interested, check ou...This is a very poignant letter written by a wife to a husband, who is insecure, suspicious and has serious trust issues. This letter from wife to husband was written after years of fighting, yelling, hurting and dealing with marriage issues. This letter is like catharsis for her. She shared a copy with Joie Bose, who published it in on Bonobology.High quality Weird Fleshlight inspired bags by independent artists and designers from around the world. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours.Cost-effective therapy. Non-invasive and no contraindications. Results are achieved within minutes. Increased blood flow can reduce the build-up of fibrous tissue. Includes a set of 5 penile rings. $103.82. Just like any muscle on the body, without use, the penis can get smaller. This is similar to what you would experience in a cold shower..

We designed this Fleshlight Freak with a body-safe, airbrushed green Alien orifice that continues down to a clear sleeve so you can see all of the alien infestation action. Combined with a clear, transparent case, you'll have everything you need to fulfill your wildest sci-fi sexcapade.

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    Kaitlin olsen nude | Every time I see it brought up, people say it's pathetic or disgusting. What makes a man with a fleshlight pathetic, but a woman with a dildo is not? It's the same thing for women. A fleshlight is an artificial vagina and a dildo is an artificial dick.WTF Weird Creepy (not) speaking from experience. By kernel034 2023-06-02 02:00. 73% (371) Phone Call Prank Creepy. face swap. By Hermes.8942 2023-05-31 10:30. 69% (405) Creepy. ... Fleshlights Creepy Rubber Dongs Spooky. Next page. Recommended Tags. Newsdroid October Napoleon Loki 2 Library of Alexandria Gaming …A soft, almost sex-like sensation enveloped my penis that was completely different from any other masturbation I had ever done. You will feel the same sensation that I felt. Move the Fleshlight at any pace you like and enjoy the best masturbation you can get. 4. Open and close the cap to adjust the stimulation....

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    Roman pornos | 1. More pleasure than masturbation. If you went to the trouble of using Fleshlight and it didn't feel better than regular masturbation, it wouldn't have been 100% as popular as it is. Yes, masturbation with Fleshlight is such an exciting experience that you will never be able to go back to regular masturbation.5. Stay away from poison ivy. A now-deleted Reddit account posted this nightmare of a masturbation story: One time I had poison ivy but before I even realized it, I had masturbated. I woke up and ......